My Letter To Local Judge (08-13-13) A Mother, Still, In Mississippi

Please see forwarded email sent to a local Judge yesterday, 08-13-13:

Dear Judge,

My children are in desperate need.  You know me, as well as my 80 year old father who’s practiced law in Mississippi for over 50 years.  He has been as ineffective getting help for my children in Rankin County as my previous attorneys.  And now we both face incarceration for different reasons, mine for guardian ad litem fees that I am unable to pay and never agreed to in the first place, his for his inability to pay sanctions imposed on him for what the court called a “frivolous hearing” (my previous attorney was hit with sanctions as well, in April 2012 for the very same reason).  Both of them are very good, ethical attorneys, who had valid cause for seeking help for my children.  I implore you to look over the information in this email.  My youngest, Miranda Grace, just turned 13. She has begged to speak to anyone for almost two years.  She was cut off from home, friends, neighbors, classmates, my family, and, most important, she was cut off from me outside of 12 day-time hours only, every other weekend, 200 miles from home.  I have no criminal record, history of immoral or unethical behavior, no addictions, no psychological issues … I was in a much lower income bracket due to having to defend myself and fight to maintain custody of my children, which I did for eight years, until August 2011.  Being impoverished is no reason to have your rights as a parent essentially terminated, is it?  I’ve been campaigning for my daughter’s rights for nearly two years (my son Philip’s was given the same rights as an adult, by the court, with the help of the guardian ad litem, when he turned 14 years old.  He was sexually active, drinking alcohol, using tobacco, for certain, and, it was rumored that he was in trouble with drugs as well.  I lost the fight for his childhood in July of 2012.  He is worth more to me, but, not to anyone else that has been involved in our case, or in his care and custody).  Miranda Grace still has a chance for some semblance of a childhood, if I can convince anyone to listen to her, to me, to all of the teacher’s, law enforcement, others who have seen what is going on in her father’s home but can’t get past the court-appointed guardian ad litem in order to do anything about it.  No one in the Rankin County Justice System seems to care about one, young girl who has been suffering, invisible, in plain sight.  Miranda has gone through such severe isolation, and all manner of abuses in her father’s home, and even more so at the hands of the guardian ad litem.  The gal has ignored my children since she made, what every one involved in our case now does not dispute, a very grave error by failing to investigate our case and recommending to the court that my children would be better off in the care of their father.  Since doing this, in November 2011, the gal has been provided proof of, and subsequently ignored and overlooked, all matters pertaining to my ex-husband’s drug addictions and his unethical and immoral behaviors which he does not protect our children from, as well as his refusal to parent the children in any way other than to provide food and shelter for them, and, his obvious, dislike, animosity and hostility toward our youngest daughter, Miranda Grace, who’s crime is only that she still loves and misses me, her mother.  Judge, I am sure you hear slander and accusations hurled between opposing parties every day but I beseech you to give me the benefit of the doubt, for the few moments it takes to read over this when I state that that is not the case here.  I have always been discreet, and have never tried to slander and defame my ex-husband.  This is likely one of the reasons he was able to effectively slander and defame me because I failed to enjoin in that behavior.  His lifestyle is deplorable and hurts my children more every day.  The fact that no one in authority is even available or concerned enough about them to investigate and hold him accountable for this hurts them as well.  I fear they will never recover from these abuses in order to grow into the healthy, intelligent, loving and compassionate adults they were born to be.  They are sweet children who need only for one person to care enough to investigate what they have been forced to live in.

I lost my son, Philip, when he was 12.  His father kidnapped him, against custody, and filed what we all now know was a “false” sex abuse charge, in July 2010, in our Gulf Coast hometown of  Ocean Springs, against a youth minister at the church that I brought my several children to on Wednesday nights.  Though I was not a part of this charge, or horrible accusation, I bore the burden of assisting the OS police in their investigation, which took 15 months to get before the Jackson County Grand Jury, who promptly no-billed it due to lack of evidence.  This one act on the part of my ex-husband destroyed more than my family, I am sure you can understand that.  This act is what prompted Rankin County Chancery presiding Judge to order the appointment of a guardian ad litem in August 2011.  None of these details are in our family court file.  It simply leaves this important matter out entirely and moves into the custody switch after the gal’s failed investigation removed my children from my custody and from our hometown, and the two years I have spent desperately seeking help for my children, and for myself.  My son has been completely alienated from me, with the guardian ad litem not only ignoring this as it occurred, she is indisputably complicit in helping my ex-husband.  She has also failed to report his failed, court-ordered drug tests.  There are so many things that she, and the court, has failed to do.  I want only the opportunity to be allowed to offer the proof to substantiate these facts.  I can.

My father is overwhelmed to say the least.  He was also too emotionally involved too be of any help.  He has suffered shock, sadness, and, it appears, some guilt, as if he is somehow to blame being unable to help me, his daughter, and his grandchildren, with whom he had never become very close with.  I have never felt that he was in any way to blame but I have despaired of trying to encourage him to cast aside those feelings.

I have been in touch with everyone I can think of, and re-connected with everyone, again, at least once, in this two year period.  Our jurisdiction should never have been in Rankin County in the first place.  My ex-husband and I lived with our children in Harrison County until he filed for a temporary order in Rankin, July 2005, that I had kidnapped our children and moved away from Rankin County.  That simply was not true and I have documentation to prove it.  Our temporary hearing was set on the same date as Hurricane Katrina made landfall and the rest is legal-nightmare errors history.

I don’t know where else to turn.  My parents are elderly and my youngest sister has depleted all of their funds and assets.  I have found myself taking care of their needs more than focusing on my children’s.  This is heartbreaking and avoidable.  I have recently reached out to Jackson-area community, and our church friends, asking for help with Mom, and Dad so I can focus on my own family’s needs but this has been emotionally and financially draining for me and time continues to crawl by with no one addressing my children and their needs.

 Please, would you at least consider these things and if you are able to offer any advice or suggestions, I would be very grateful.  I sincerely thank you for your time.

Sincerely

 

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2 thoughts on “My Letter To Local Judge (08-13-13) A Mother, Still, In Mississippi

  1. There is no excuse for having to put out one penny to protect your child from abuse — protecting a child’s right to be with a parent in a normal, healthy way should have nothing to do with money. In fact, if the system cares anything about the child, it would never create financial hardship that only takes away from that child’s care, not to sense of stability & security that every child deserves. No healthy parent would use the court system in this way. My ex never even asked to have custody — he never even included my daughter in on vacation or had her more than two days until he decided to choreograph a reenactment of his own teenage years when his dad cut his mother out of his life.

  2. I agree, money, lack of money, especially forced poverty due to court combat, should never be used as any gauge to measure a parent’s worth, place, in their children’s lives, and it most certainly should never be equated with fitness. There are far too many parents who are protective, loving, and nurturing toward their children who have faced this horrible calamity and it falls to us all to protest. I have found more speaking out in just this past year alone. I know we are finding strength in numbers. I hope the “powers that be” are listening, reading. We have created a new generation of abandoned, unloved, abused and neglected children with equal number of shell-shocked, mistreated and abused by the justice system and vindictive parents … it’s so tragic, inexplicable how this has continued for so long. Regardless, one way or another, society will have to prepare to deal with the aftermath of this generation in addition to investing in awareness, reform, oversignt. It won’t be easy but real change never is. None of us suffering set out to be advocates … we were given no other choice. I admire each and every person who is taking the time to share their stories. I do know how hard it is. I believe we are encouraging one another, paving the way. I hope we’re already making a difference. It’s hard to tell sometimes.

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