Writing For My Life (June 2013)
Ours is quite a horrible, almost unbelievable story but it is becoming alarmingly clear that we are not so rare. Coming across other stories, mother’s, father’s, children, is like manna from Heaven. I’m not relieved other’s are hurting. In fact, I’m sickened and it is incredibly painful to read their similar, heartbreaking stories, but for so long I could find nothing, no one else living this nightmare.
I have kept a daily journal of my own family’s tragedies for as far back as I can remember, detailing every tragic moment, highlighting each triumph, marking every injustice, and giving thanks for each miracle, big and small, along the way. I thought it a quirky habit, born of necessity, for self-help and healing. Maybe this was not as self-centered as I once thought. Recalling is like reliving and is incredibly painful. But, failure to recall allows for no reporting which only encourages ignorance and ensures continuation of abuse. The most powerful weapon that I can think of that would defeat this level of suffering and injustice is collective outrage and outcry from fellow mothers, fathers, grandparents, brothers, sisters, children. This has finally hit too close to home. No one can read our story, all of these family’s stories, and possibly feel safe or immune anymore.
To be rendered useless, unable to help while children suffer is surely the most painful agony on earth but abandoning them has never occurred to me. I liken it to watching a child battle a life threatening illness. I could never leave their side no matter how painful it is to watch them suffer. Anyone who turns away out of indifference, or self preservation, has a heart of stone and will one day be accountable for their actions, or in-actions. I could never mistreat or abuse any child and certainly would never do anything to compound or prolong a child’s suffering. I’m at a loss to explain to my own children why so many people can and do.
I continue to pray, every minute of every day, that my children will soon receive the attention, protection, and relief they deserve. I hope others are able to use our information to help them as we would have been grateful to have and receive help, to know we were not alone living the nightmare.
These last few months have finally been productive and I am now able to put to use all the years of research, and resources to good use. I was very recently blessed to catch the attention of a local firm who, in addition to giving part-time work, gave me something of even greater value … the credibility and validation in that was apparently lacking in Rankin County and it’s has now become clear why this was necessary in this small town with it’s “network”. These good people in this small, local firm thankfully did not have the common hang-up so many people stumble over, wondering how and why things like this can happen to people like me, and to children like mine.
I have detailed the information surrounding the circumstances of my recent April 2013 meeting with my children’s court-appointed guardian ad litem. This meeting was just 2 months ago and was only the 2nd ever meeting I have had with this guardian ad litem since her initial appointment August 30, 2011. The first and only other meeting I had with this guardian ad litem was in her office barely a month before the ill-fated “custody switch” hearing of November 28, 2011 in which this guardian ad litem recommended to the court that my children be placed in their father’s care and custody. This gal never met with me and my children together and never visited our home, hometown, nor did she bother to drive the 200 mile distance to interview my character witnesses, colleagues, neighbors, friends, family.
My April 2013 meeting with this gal was very informational, however, and I was finally afforded an opportunity to correct a great deal of misinformation and speculation, supporting all of the facts (though most were already made available and were previously submitted to her in September through November, of 2011). I am satisfied that I provided sufficient, accurate information in order to expedite the current investigation that this guardian ad litem was assigned to do in her most recent re-appointment by the court on November 29, 2012 and by which she agreed to the duty of investigating charges of abuse of my two children by their father. That appointment was 6 months ago and, to my knowledge, she has not yet met with either of the children, alone, or together.
I hope that I have at least become a nuisance in that, at least, my existence has finally been acknowledged. Whether I am a mosquito nuisance, or a yellow-jacket nuisance, I don’t yet know and really don’t care. I continue to care only that my children are noticed and heard. They deserve to feel safe and secure. They are still so young and impressionable and the sooner the intervention, the greater the possibilities of healing, for my family. I have no idea what or how this will be done … “when” is more important to me. The whats/hows, whys/hows will most assuredly come in due time.
I have had some assistance by some professionals who have been instrumental in helping me with my inquiries and information gathering. It is my understanding that our 2 separate hearings, FINALLY scheduled, have been set for different dates, in June and July 2013, but I’ve now received notice that all 3 motions are to be heard on the one date, July 15, 2013, originally set aside for the Modification of Custody, as noticed this past November 2012. This is disturbing and poses many problems and concerns. These matters cannot possibly be heard all at one time. The matter of the unpaid fees, and sanctions, appear to be taking precedence over the Motion to Extend Visitation, and, a separate Motion for Custody, which is kind of ridiculous to hear on the same date anyway. I am worried that these matters will be not be given proper hearing time, or, worse, set aside once again.
It must be stopped.