PA IS about the children – see following article:

By Keith Marsolek, CEO & Founder at Parental Alienation World Wide Support Group Public Page, CEO & Founder at Parents Against Alienation and CEO & Founder at Fathers Against Parental Alienation:

People often times get PA confused as the name might imply it is some regards or fashion something to do with adults and parents, when this could be as far from the truth as it gets. You see, PA is really not about adults or parents at all. Its really all about the children. The price tag that has been placed on their being. It is the systematic and deliberate psychological war that they are being used for. It is the intentional mental abuse they are made to endure for years, decades and sometimes lifelong.
We as adults whom are merely bystanders to this new cloacked type of abusive behaviour and who fall victim by our mere emotional ineptness to deal or handle it. We often loose sight of whom this injures the most whom are the children. I never felt as if I was being victimized by this phenomenon we now understand as PA. I guess I felt more confusion or disalutioned that this kind of behavior would come from a person that not only did I love for many years and have children and a family with but that they have done this and continue to do with those children that they feverishly claim to love as well. Seeing how they feel that in some way they hurt me as much as they feel hurt by the rejection of the relationship when in fact they do not hurt me at all.
So I have educated myself and now know and fully understand that PA really isnt about me or my possible emotional response to a misguided adult psychological and behavioral issue. It is soley directed at the children and in doing so I am sort to speak a bystander that only gets bits and pieces. The children end up taking the full brunt of the abuse and psychological warfare heaved upon their shoulders. This is whom we must concentrate our educational and awareness efforts directly to. People say we should not involve children in the affairs of adults. Maybe its time we rethink this stragedy when it come to the subject and matters regarding PA. After all, it is our children on the front lines of this war against them. Let us as adults give them the necessary psychological tools to fight a war they never asked to be in, in the first place.

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One thought on “PA IS about the children – see following article:

  1. My experience being alienated from my children…. I used to be a stay at home mom. I made big family meals. We spent holidays together. We did everything together. We had our own separate family. When the abuser dad left for work, our life normalized. When he came home, we lived in fear. And when I finally had the courage to leave, the abuser began an all out war against me, aided by family money to get a sleazy attorney, and after a long battle in court won abuser full custody.

    Then the alienation, almost complete separation began…I have had to let go of the dreams I had for my family, if I see my kids now I live in the moment. I have to be flexible to whatever. My kids used to have chores at home, with rules and expectations. If I only get to see my kids for a few hours, no way will I ask them to do chores. Most of the time I don’t have time to even cook a meal. I let it go.

    My time with my children is so limited and so unexpected (I never know when or if I will see them) that I make the most of it… I try to play and visit places and do activities that will create a memory they can treasure. I go online to look up art projects or sights we can visit, or I listen to their favorite songs so I can sing along with them.

    And I always make sure to tell my children I love them. To give a compliment. Or an extra hug. If they don’t want a hug or seem distant, then I do my best to reach out to their level… I listen to their music, learn to play their games or video games, or try to interest them in something new (a book, a board game, a walk etc).

    And when my children leave, I never know if they will see me or when. I am haunted by the traces of abuse and neglect I see on them. And by their words that suggest something is not right. The Court will not protect them, and I am punished for speaking up. So I pray. And I cry. And I call a friend to vent…I take time to heal so I can be strong for the next time I see them. And the next time is always too long. And it seems the more and more we are apart, they forget what we used to have or lose a little more of the bond we once shared. I just hope and pray when the kids are older that they will remember Mom, and know they always have a home, here with me.

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