Monthly Archives: March 2015

Teachers, college professors, pastors, ministers, doctors, counselors, coaches and many others can begin to help youth in an area that is desperately needed.

I could re-blog again and again, these sharp, accurate points – how silence empowers, feeds, exacerbates  and further isolates children, and their  mothers, Who suffer alienation and deprivation.  I have always been an optimist, and continue to believe that the majority of those in the community who interact with our children  are simply not aware of what they are going through . Or if they suspect they are not fully educated and informed. I also sincerely believe that there are great and many people in each of our communities who would be outraged and make mighty and powerful resources for our children and for us, the mothers, IF only they were made aware of the true facts,  nature and cause of the abuses, alienation and deprivation that we are subjected to on a daily basis.

Change the titles to apply for every age and stage of life…. kindergarten teacher, daycare employee, dance instructor, baseball coach, even doctor and dental assistants … The list is infinite. Most have and Will continue to  see and spend more time with our children than we do!

How wonderful if we could reach and educate these professionals, all with loving bonds and families of their own, who are fathers and mothers, grandparents, sisters and brothers, aunts and uncles, sons and daughters  ….  and, I believe, most would be supportive and sympathetic, morally inclined and extremely motivated to help, making mighty role models for and being much-needed  compassionate, positive influences to our children, whom they know, see, teach, or coach, regularly.

How greatly this would  reduce the isolation that goes along with the abuses, the alienation and the deprivation, that our children suffer on a daily basis.

We cannot  overlook these people and their potential for each of our children individually, and for this cause as a whole. 

Stop saying “Divorce causes broken homes.” Just stop it.

A Cry For Justice

Morpheus divorce

This was a comment posted on our Facebook page by our friend Juliette.

Divorce often occurs when targets of abuse (with their children) LEAVE the “broken home.” A “broken home” in which they have bravely STAYED, with passionate hope for healing – for way too long!! A “broken home” which is making the targets ill, mentally fragmented and soulfully crushed. Once they leave and begin to recover and heal…the home is ~no longer broken~… it is in God’s hands and the home is experiencing restoration and healing. The targets might always, always love, miss and pray for the “person” they needed to leave. But it is good that they decided they would no longer endure something that was killing and robbing them every single day.

Stop telling a target of abuse that her children are destined to be a statistic of “ruined children in broken homes because of divorce” because she’s chosen to leave and raise them in a “broken…

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Thinking Out Loud: 2013 research, and, something IS rotten …. 

I have been reviewing and sorting through my research from the past five years or so, and I came across this file, article from journalist Janie McQueen. I remember so well how relieved I was to find Janie, a real, live person, a mother, no less, who was also a talented journalist, who was shining a much-needed light on issues of good mothers losing custody, maternal deprivation, wrongful and severed bonds between mothers and children, Family Courts, child custody suits gone wrong, roles professionals play in these decisions, and, of course, what effect all of this was having on a whole generation of children and the mothers that were fighting, and, in most cases, losing, everything, for the children they love and gave birth to.

Shortly after I discovered Janie, she was sharing the plight of another mother, Robin Karr. I was drawn to Robin’s story as well, it surprised and appalled me so (and had striking similarities with my own experiences).

Both Janie and Robin were inspirational to me. Their works combined with exposure from other  authors, psychologists, attorneys, and advocates (Keith  Harmon Snow, Linda Shelton, Barry Goldstein, Richard Ducote, Sunni Kelly, and Susan Skipp), all formed for me a circle of hope, a way to explanation and sometimes validation, which can be so frustratingly necessary when one is battling these issues alone, and most especially necessary for those ever-ready skeptics who would rather not consider the dark places many of us are forced to know and live in unless they have proof and documentation – piles of it. These groundbreakers were like water to my thirsty soul. They were pivotal in helping me change myself and how I reacted and responded to the numerous and terrible abuses and circumstances that had plagued, hurt, abused, and divided, me and my children for so many years. The circumstances that forced me into multiple legal battles, answering ludicrous and false claims, causing me to fear and fight to avoid being jailed for inability to pay GAL fees, imposing undue and harsh travel requirements, long-term, limited and restricted visitations, and, of course, ultimately, the severed relationship between me and two of my children.

Though throughout my own family’s experiences I never doubted that what was happening to us was wrong, unjustified, and horrific, having documented research, studies, definitions, and data available to me from these experienced, highly respected and acclaimed professionals  and citizens was invaluable. From that point on,  I determined to put into place some strategy and thereby developed more effective ways to navigate the minefield, so to speak, in which I dared to speak up and fight Back instead of remaining on defense (Although that’s a normal first response when being relentlessly pummeled it is wise to eventually conclude that behavior will continue because it is purposefully designed to keep you cowering, preventing you from coming up for air – adapt to overcome – so I made my OWN air pocket).  Making these changes was made easier because of these others Who went before me, who left tiny breadcrumbs and lit flares to guide me along the perilous path. And, somehow, I found The odds just were not quite as daunting as before. I was no longer really alone in the universe and I had validation. 

I have continued on my path, often feeling as if I am the proverbial widow begging for justice, presenting evidence, writing or corresponding, sending and exchanging information, absolutely anything that I could do I have and it has NEVER been time wasted. I will continue to fight for the wrongs to be righted, and, always, to remain visible to and connected with my children in every way that I can. They deserve this and so much more. This is certainly not any path I ever dreamed I would ever be on but it has been the path laid before me and I must continue to walk it with tenacity, courage, and honor. NO ONE can deny me that. I take comfort in and purpose from this and in knowing I have it in my power to give something to my children, something unalterable and undeniable, something which is good and right, despite all of the wrongs imposed on us, and which is ours alone … my legacy, my actions, my behavior, my perseverance, my fight for them was, is, and will always be, my gift to each of them (After all is said and done it could be all they ever get to have of me).  I am a mother, more important, I’m THEiR  mother … Of course I’m going to make sure I give them the best.

And, here it is 2015, Robin and Janie teamed up to collaborate on a wonderful project, a young adult fictional book, The Motherless Child Project. I’m so grateful for their hard work, courage, and the time that they put into helping spread awareness and education for this very important cause.

From my Files, 2013:
Mulling over Something Rotten in Texas … (Robin Karr, told through Janie McQueen):

My two youngest children were taken from me before turning 1 and 2 via their abusive father and a corrupt family court judge in Texas,” Robin wrote. “My children never came home. I do not know them.”

Never came home? She doesn’t know them? I was stunned. How could this be? I read on.  “I was only permitted five supervised visits over the years and none since 2004. My children have been denied their birthright – the right to know and be loved by their own mother. I was arrested at one point for breaking down in court and crying when I was told I could no longer see my children even supervised.”

Although I covered crime and legal issues for years, I never heard a court of law inflict such cruelty. Aside from denying Robin her right to exist as a mother, what utter lack of empathy and basic humanity would prompt a judge to order an agonizing mother to jail for exhibiting her pain? This isn’t the first time I’ve wondered if we live in a country that sadistically punishes mothers with the emotional equivalent of stoning: taking away their children and severing their relationships so that some are truly gone forever. I know stoning and misogynistic custody rulings are not the same thing. But most mothers will make the connection.

Moreover, people like Robin Karr have experienced a lack of any recourse whatsoever. Once that door closes, in some cases, the mother can break her fists beating on that door for years and years, but it is sealed shut, never to be opened again. A mother asks for an appeal, and there is no one to hear her,  nowhere to go. In Robin’s case, the very people who should have been helping her, instead betrayed her and propagated the cruelty.

Here is a recent, tremendously powerful series of news stories on Karr’s case, by a Canadian reporter. Pay close attention to Story 2, and what happened when Karr approached a Texas fathers’ rights organization.

  1. A Mother Claims That Corruption in Family Courts Ruined her Life
  2. A Mother’s Battle with Parental Alienation: 15 Years Later
  3. Corruption in Family Court Doesn’t Stop with a Judge or a Lawyer
  4. Robin Karr: A Great Story of Courage and Survival

Minding the empathy gap: mapping the world of the alienated child

Thank you for your work, sharing your knowledge, experience. Without professionals, real and experienced “EXPERTS” such as yourself, the definitions, explanations, descriptions, predictions, would continue to circle around among the non-professionals, others in charge, community leaders, educators, etc. and all of this would continue to convolute these issues that are hurting children, hurting their loved ones. Your work is much appreciated by those of us who need it. Education and awareness, and working together, is the only way to bring any end, any comfort and healing, to these terrible matters.

Karen Woodall

One of the more complicated pieces of work that we do at the Family Separation Clinic is assist parents in hybrid cases of alienation to repair their relationship with their children.  These cases are sometimes presented as being not parental alienation but justified rejection because the children involved can talk about the things that a parent has done which have caused their withdrawal and these things, are indeed often observable in the parent.  These cases are however within the alienation spectrum because the child involved has utilised the coping mechanism of complete rejection of a parent in order to deal with the dilemma that they face.

I have said before and it is worth repeating today, children do not use the coping mechanism of complete rejection of a parent unless they are in a position where they have no other option but to do so. This situation can arise because…

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Another Teen, 17 years old, ends life

17 Year-Old Ends Life; Walks in Front of Train 

Suicide Note: “No Point in Living” 

Depressed from Being Taken from Loving Mom – Given to Father 

Judge Ignores Mom’s Pleas for Help; Admits Father Abusive and Drug User; Still Switches Custody; Now Another Child Dead 

“The judge after he gave my ex custody said to him, “There were reports of abuse and drugs in the past.  Let’s not have any more of that.”

“Joshua was the sweetest boy.  Everyone at the memorial just kept telling stories about how nice and helpful he was.  I had taught my children to show love to all and always be ready to help someone.  And that was Josh. He was also incredibly smart. But people will remember his kindnesses much more.”  –  Protective Mom Becky 

“Josh was getting counseling to help him to learn to cope with his depression. That had just started when I lost custody. “

“For the last four years his dad did nothing for him to get him counseling.  My boy was hurting too bad for too long and there was no one who would or could step in and get him treatment.  I knew all along that he was depressed.  I had tried to get him help. “

“The judge after he gave my ex custody said to him, “There were reports of abuse and drugs in the past.  Let’s not have any more of that.”  

“But I actually was deemed to be ‘unfit’  because of homeschooling.”  –  PM Becky 

This is just one more casualty in the war on women and children in Family Courts. 

See photo, additional details, courtesy of Safe Kids International: