Category Archives: apa

Random Thoughts: Can’t We All Just Get Along? Mothers, Fathers, to Unite and Snuff Out The Real Terrorists Who Are Profiting From Our Losses, Our Children ….

They (the money-grubbers in the “system”) have sat back, content in the knowledge that there is so much “gender” animosity, in-fighting, mothers vs. fathers, when we ALL know this began as a slow, gradual movement, where surely fathers suffered greatly in the early 70’s & the 80’s, until fathers began to unite, rebel, as they should have, invested money and called much attention to their plight.  It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to get a grasp on how that movement shifted into shared parenting, with the scales tipped (FOR THE MOST PART!) in favor of fathers … much sympathy was duly earned but now we have entered into a realm of in-fighting that has only helped the most disgusting corrupt of the corrupt content to line their pockets while egging on the conflicts in court, giving no thought whatsoever to the real victims … the CHILDREN.

It’s obvious that with the shift came the influx of the most corrupt of corrupt … the attorneys, the court appointed “professionals”, as the balance shifted, in most areas, to where fit and loving mothers began to lose children, horribly, inexplicably.  No real human being wishes to cause this pain on anyone, any loving, protective parent.

I am saddened by what I perceive to be the biggest obstacle, this division between which gender has or is suffering the most … there are sadists, narcissists, crazies in both genders … it’s easy enough to tell who loves their children selflessly.  We are ALL OVER THESE BLOGS, WRITINGS FOR OUR LIVES as I call it.  It’s heartbreaking and I fear it won’t end until we find ways to unite, pull together, in order to attack the REAL ENEMY .. those who are encouraging the sociopath ex’s (of either gender) to wage war in court in order to punish an ex-spouse by using the children.

It is my most fervent hope and prayer that we all soon unite, one with another, alienated, abused, mistreated, robbed, scandalized, broken, suffering mothers AND fathers, moms and dads, PARENTS!… IN ORDER THAT WE SNUFF OUT, EXPOSE, REPORT, HOLD ACCOUNTIBLE, PUNISH AND REMOVE FOREVER, ALL THOSE WHO HAVE BROKEN THE GREATEST TRUST OF THEIR PROFESSIONS WHILE THEY CONTINUE TO PROFIT FROM OUR, AND MORE IMPORTANT, OUR CHILDRENS, DISTRESS.

 

CAN’T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG AND UNITE FOR THE CAUSE?  WARRIORS, MOTHERS, FATHERS, PARENTS, WHO MUST RECLAIM OUR RIGHTS, OUR CHILDREN?  OUR FUTURE DEPENDS ON IT.

 

 

Advertisements

“Maternal Deprivation is inflicting abuse by severing the mother-child bond…” from research, Sept. 2011 (BEFORE fated gal appointment!)

Unethical treatment of women and children in family court & Maternal Deprivation:

Maternal Deprivation is inflicting abuse by severing the mother-child bond. It is a form of abuse that men inflict on both the mother and children, especially men who claim they are “parentally alienated” from their children when there are complaints of abusive treatment by the father.

Maternal Deprivation occurs when men seek to keep their children from being raised by their mothers who are the children’s natural caretakers,
seek to sever the maternal bonds by making false allegations of fictitious psychological syndromes in a deliberate effort to change custody and/or keep the child from having contact with their mother when there are legal proceedings.

In seeking to define this form of abuse certain common elements are found in the Maternal Deprivation scenario as follows:

History of domestic abuse that could be physical, psychological, sexual,  and/or social abuse occurring on or off again, occasionally, or          chronically which could be mild, moderate, or severe, including  homicidal and/or suicidal threats; Legal proceedings relating to abuse;
Hiring of “Fathers Rights” attorney; Use of “Hired Gun” mental health  professionals to make accusations of psychological disorder against the  mother and children in deliberate effort to excuse abuse and change  custody or grant visitation that is contrary to safety concerns (Another  name for these unethical professionals are “Whores of the  Courts“); Raising claims of “psychological disorders” against the mother  such as “Parental Alienation Syndrome” (PAS), Munchausen by Proxy  Syndrome, Malicious Mother Syndrome, Lying Litigant Syndrome,  Hostile Aggressive Parenting or any other mother-blaming  psychological disorder that can be used by the unethical professional to  re-victimize the victims; Infliction of “Legal Abuse” by continually and  excessively filing motions so that the mother continually has to defend  herself and her child(ren) causing financial and emotional devastation.  Can occur in response to child support legal proceedings as retaliation;

The intent of “Maternal Deprivation” is to punish the mother and the child for revealing the abuse and to falsely claim that they are not abusive. This very commonly occurs as there are more and more “abuse-excuse” parental alienation accusing professionals who use this scientifically invalid theory over and over to achieve specific goals of the person paying them.

Maternal Deprivation can also occur in response to child support legal proceedings. When occurring in this manner, Maternal Deprivation is a response to the financial demands as retaliation. Suddenly the father who had little prior involvement wants to take the kids half the time to avoid child support obligations, etc.

When the men are really abusive, they ask for sole custody and demand the mother of the child pay them. Although some people call this “Maternal Alienation”, a distinction needs to be made as the pro-pedophilia “Parental Alienation Syndrome” and the use of the word “Alienation” are most often used AGAINST battered women and abused children. There needs to be a distinction between the phony psychological syndrome and the intentional infliction of abuse on a mother and child by intentionally severing their natural bond. This distinction can best be made by NOT using the label of “Alienation” which will always be associated with the pro-pedophilia monster Doctor Richard Gardner.

Some of the characteristics of the especially heinous abusers who inflict Maternal Deprivation include but are not limited to the following:
*Angry; *Abusive;
*Violent; *Coercive;
*Controlling; *Threatening; *Intimidating; *Demanding; *Domineering;
*Harassing;
*Stalking;
*Tyrannical;
*Oppressive;
*Forceful;
*Manipulative;
*Deceptive;
*Unethical;
*Un-empathetic(Lacks Empathy);
*Entitled;
*Immature;
*Self-centered;
*Neglectful;
*Guilt inducing;
*Pushy;
*Intentionally tries to humiliate mother and/or child;
….

 

Wouldn’t Know Your Own Child If You Saw Him/Her On The Street? — Alienated, Separated, Too Long (In Memory of My Son)

Excerpt:  …. If writing of this helps avoid another loving mother {parent}, from marking a day in their own diary of life, as the day in which they do not, could not, and likely will continue not to be able to recognize their own child in a photo … then, somehow it may all be worth some of the pain that went into sharing this.

{In Memory of My Son, who was taken against custody, by his father, June 4, 2010, and never returned}

03-08-14:  Yesterday someone dear to me send me a sweet photo of what I thought to be a picture of this person’s son and his prom date. I took a moment to admire the photo, and sent a reply text remark of what a sweet, handsome couple these two young people were. After a brief pause, I received what I am sure was a difficult reply … that the handsome young man in the photo was my own son, Philip. Philip will be 16 years old next month. He was taken from me, from home, June 4, 2010, against custody, never to return. Philip and I have had no assistance during this time, by family court professionals, despite the fact that we had a guardian ad litem and psychologist appointed by the courts to see to my children’s “best interest”.


I have only recently begun to speak up, publicly, to get any attention to our cause, and our case. I have, in fact, spent most of my time, energy, and resources battling to avoid going to jail for unpaid fees for the “unprofessional” professionals in charge of seeing to the best interest of my children, instead of fighting for my children, which has been extremely dispiriting but necessary and very critical. I am sad, and ashamed, that I couldn’t do more for them when they needed me the most and it has been, IS, extremely dispiriting but necessary and critical … you have to remain alive, and out of prison, of course, before you can fight to help your children. 


All the most critical matters, addressing rights of parents, rights of children, reform, and oversight, laws, ethics, etc. all took backseat to issues of fees, and, sadly, as in other cases, children “age out” before any wrongs are ever identified, addressed, much less righted. That, and the fact that so many community leaders, and those “in charge” are uncomfortable getting involved. From all I have learned, these are the primary reasons for which these issues, this silent epidemic, has been allowed to continue for so very long.

Yesterday, the realization of accepting that I was not even able to recognize my own child in a photo washed over me in a slow and steady crush. I haven’t spent any time with, had any visitation with my son since May of 2012.

Writing has been my lifelong habit, mostly a joy, and has surely been some positive exercise for me during times when I could not speak of the unspeakable, the inexplicable. During these past months I have written, and, slowly, lately, I am learning to actually SPEAK up and out more than in the past. I confess that I recognize my writings can be too much, too overwhelming to those who read or hear …. I try always to remain mindful of that but do recognize that I often fail. The things of which I write and speak eek a pain and suffering on such levels that wears on the spirit of the reader, the listener and my words, our story, has not yet had victories, redemption, which we all need to have in order to be inspired.

I share these things with the hope that all we have experienced, all the time and effort I have put into research, all that we have sacrificed and lost may not be in vain. I am learning to try to accept that going back is impossible (very hard, for a mother, for any loving parent …  I will not wake up to be back in our happy home in Ocean Springs, with my busy, active, sweet, spiritual, loving 12 year old son and 9 year old daughter, with ever-revolving doors of friends, laughter, music, clutter, activities, dinner-time, and chatter … all the joyful noise, and choas, that makes up a busy, loving home. All I know to do at this point is recognize that we did indeed have this, it was no dream, and, nightmares have to end, one way or another.

I ask you to pray for my children, and for me. If writing of this helps avoid another loving mother, parent, from marking a day in their own diary of life, as the day in which they do not, could not, and likely will continue not to be able to recognize their own child in a photo … then, somehow it may all be worth some of the pain that went into sharing this.

{In Memory of My Son, Philip, who was taken against custody, by his father, June 4, 2010, and never returned}

March 8, 2014, by Bobbie R. Hardin

 

 

Mothers are forced into excessive and abusive court proceedings … see full article

http://ireport.cnn.com/docs/DOC-503985?ref=feeds%2Flatest

Mothers are forced into excessive and abusive court proceedings where they are drained financially and emotionally. They are bullied into submitting to ongoing evaluations, mediation and therapy, so that they will be deemed difficult and uncooperative and therefore unfit to parent their children.

Originally devised as the means to cover up evidence of child sexual abuse when the father is the perpetrator, the PAS legal strategy calls for the involvement of custody evaluators, attorneys for children, “special masters” (mediators with quasi-judicial authority), supervision monitors and other court-appointees operating in the guise of family “conciliation court”. Who collaborate to shift blame to mothers trying to maintain custody a protect their children. PAS calls for institutionalizing children to convince them that they were not really abused by their father, but that their mothers are crazy.

Through illegally crafted orders, phony custody reports and improper “ex-parte” (emergency unnoticed) proceedings, court appointees rig the outcomes of cases in favor of abusive men. By labeling mothers “alienators”, blaming them for denying fathers “access” to the children and prosecuting mothers for custodial interference” or similar “crimes”, the family court works with the District Attorney to criminalize mothers’ attempts to escape abuse and protect their children. If mother flees with the children, the FBI gets involved, treating the matter as a “parental abduction” ( a federal crime). Which is used as further proof that she doesn’t deserve to have custody.
TAGS:
What do you think of this story?
Select one of the options below. Your feedback will help tell CNN producers what to do with this iReport. If you’d like, you can explain your choice in the comments below.

Family Court for Dummies (A Work in Progress – Steps for Newbies in Family Court)

    1. Do not allow your attorney or opposing attorney to strong-arm, influence, or rush you into accepting an appointment of a guardian ad litem OR psychologist OR ANY OTHER COURT APPOINTED PROFESSIONAL (cap) under ANY circumstances WITHOUT running your own background check, gathering referrals, credentials, even checking into OTHER cases of said guardian ad litem, and/or psychologist … take the list of the names they offer you (it WILL BE A SHORT LIST!), and look into who they are offering – your life depends on this.  You HAVE the RIGHT to take time to run background checks, you have the right to take TIME to do this, YOU EVEN HAVE THE RIGHT TO ALTERNATE NAMES OF PROFESSIONALS, if you do these things before the gavel hits … please do not underestimate this.
    2. BY INVESTIGATE … please first run FOIA (Freedom of Information Act) Request on ALL professionals involved in your case, in the county of your jurisdiction.  The purpose of this is to find out if/what they are being paid as private vendors from your county of jurisdiction funds … again, you WILL BE SURPRISED.  This is how you follow the money.  Not complicated – more on this later.  It’s also easy enough to run all professionals names through your State’s Secretary of State database for corporations they own, are officers, or holders in … again, it’s following the money.  Please take this step very seriously – it can change the tide of the whole case, and QUICKLY, BEFORE you have a FINAL HEARING.
    3. Go to your county of jurisdiction, pull your own court file, go through it with a fine tooth comb … look for missing documents, stamps, dates, evidence, missing documents, hidden, stapled, etc.  You would be surprised how few attorneys take the time to go through your court file, and, you know your own file better than anyone else.  Make notes, or better yet, ask for a complete copy of your file, and update it every few weeks, days even, if you can.  Documents turn up missing, added, misplaced, placed out of order, “hidden”, etc. ALL THE TIME.  This is less likely to happen if you keep up with your own case file and what has been submitted for the court’s record.  Keep an eye on items that are “tabbed” for quick review … it gives clues to documents hurried “professionals” flip to automatically without taking the time to read your entire case history.  After all, that would require a lot a time and effort on their part … it’s just your life, and the lives of your children depending on them to do so … are you willing to take the chance that they are THAT invested in your fair trial, treatment, case?
    4. Find out how, when, yes, even IF, the court appointed professionals are communicating with YOUR attorney (again, you’d be surprised how often they communicate with only ONE side).  Insist on copies of all communications between your attorney and the court appointed professional (cap) … you can dissect this information on your own time and will surely have more invested in it than even your own attorney.  Good attorneys are often naive to the manipulative, underhanded tactics “biased” professionals use in order to leave a party out of communications, correspondences, etc. and often end up blindsided, surprised, in court … leaving you, and your children, no recourse (aside from time-wasting threats of appeals, reversals, reconsiderations … you’ll all be too tired and old to make it that far, very few do, trust this).
    5. Addendum to 4, but deserves section of it’s own:  It is not unusual for court appointed professionals (caps) to hide, send by “error” OOPS … I DON’T KNOW HOW THAT HAPPENED, I THOUGHT I WAS USING YOUR/YOUR ATTORNEYS PROPER EMAIL ADDRESS … or, LET ME CHECK WITH MY ASSISTANT … I DON’T KNOW HOW THAT HAPPENED … WHY WE MISSED THAT … HOW YOUR EX RECEIVED COPIES OF REPORTS YOU DIDN’T … COPIES OF YOUR PERSONAL EMAILS … anyway, the list is infinite, I’m just adding some I have heard personally.  This section simply means, do not be surprised by ANYTHING, ask questions, who’s talking, who received what, what is going on, what they are doing/teaching/counseling/advising … do NOT allow yourself to be shamed into thinking you are being overly pesky or paranoid.  Easier said than done, I KNOW, but, I assure you, the alternative is much worse, much more final, much harder to bear, years and tears later.  Ask the questions, even if they make you feel it, or you, is/are STUPID  … remember what we teach our children? … There ARE NO STUPID QUESTIONS!
    6. KNOW the HIPPA laws and do not fail to use them in your conversations with cap’s (this should be a given but turns out it is often a slam-dunk in getting their attention).  It’s hard, but you’ll have to learn early own to stop letting them intimidate you into silence … you will not win them over with good behavior – remember, your good reputation and good behavior did not help you in the first place.  It’s likely the matter was decided well before you step into a courtroom.  Again, do all of these things BEFORE any final hearing or it’ll take YEARS to get back on any solid ground and lawsuits, reporting, ethics, commissions, review boards, are all AFTER you’ve lost your children’s childhoods.  You’d much rather have their childhoods.

Is Justice truly blind – written by Mississippi Attorney (2012)

Is Justice truly blind.  Or, as someone told me recently, at least in their case, justice is blind only if you can afford it.  Take the O. J. Simpson case, they said.  Do you believe that he would have been acquitted if he had been an average citizen, living from paycheck to paycheck, rather than Simpson, who was apparently wealthy enough to hire several expensive attorneys, pay for pretrial depositions and pay for expert witnesses?

Food for thought.  After over fifty years of practice, I can see where he’s coming from.  There have been numerous cases during my career where the poor litigant was unable to hire an expensive attorney, much less fight a lengthy court battle.  The Mississippi State Bar is doing its best to get attorneys to perform pro bono service.  That is to render free service to those litigants who are unable to employ private counsel.  Like many of my fellow attorneys, I have done my share of these.  And in those situations where I have asked for a small down payment, I have found that the remainder of my fee remains unpaid.  In fact, I’ve often said that if I could collect my account receivables I could have retired long ago. I’m sure many of my colleagues can say the same.

I know of one litigant, in this case a woman, who lost custody of her children, who has spent over $45,000 in attorney fees and court appointed Guardian Ad Litem fees in her attempt to regain custody of her children, and still faces more fees if she intends to pursue her quest.  Incidentally, Guardian Ad Litems are usually appointed by a Judge as an arm of the court, charged to assist the Court in determining the best interest of the children.  Their responsibility is to investigate, file a report, and testify to the results of their investigation and, if requested by the Judge, to make a recommendation as to the best interest of the children.  These GAL’s are usually an attorney also, and their charges can be an added burden on the poor litigant.

This woman is obviously not a paycheck to paycheck type individual, but she has spent her life’s savings in her quest to correct what she feels has been an injustice by the judicial system in removing her children from her care and imposing restricted visitation rights.  At present she has been unable to meet the financial demands that the Court has placed upon her and faces contempt of court charges that could result in her incarceration.  But like most mothers throughout this land she is not giving up in her battle and will no doubt wind up in jail for her continued efforts.

She is only one of many women that I know that continue to fight for her rights.  I know of at least one of these who was actually incarcerated by the Court before she eventually regain custody of her children.

I’m sure there are hundreds out there, both men and women, who have faced the same dilemma.

Yes, Litigation is expensive.  Lawyers are expensive.  GAL’s are expensive.  If witnesses are called, especially psychologist or psychiatrist, they are also expensive.  Can the average citizen afford all of this?  Not likely, unless they have savings or good credit.

So what is the answer?  I don’t know.  I’m an attorney.  I have done my share of pro bono (free) work.  And there are other attorneys who likewise have done quite a bit pro bono work. But even if an attorney performs pro bono work the litigant still faces the task of the GAL fees, expert witness fees, etc.

Perhaps this is a matter that should be investigated by the legislature.  Especially in the case of GALs.  Unfortunately, there are no set rules or guidelines in our present laws addressing all of the duties and understandings of these court appointed attorneys.

The Supreme Court has attempted to clarify some of the issues, but there are still other matters that need to be addressed.

If there are those enlightened minds out there that has a workable solution to this problem please let me know.  Or if you have been in similar circumstances, tell me your story.